March 2010, Friday

March 2010, Friday

Collapsing on my bed
Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom,
I may as well have been pulled
Into an abyss
In which gravity is arms
And anxiety is
Demons clawing and
cloaking out the light.

He sang,
And the dark bodies
clinging to me fell away.

I became animated again
Suddenly aware that
what was gripping me
had had me paralyzed.

The tranquility,
the immediate immanence
of the tranquility,
was beyond any meaning
of the word tranquil
or any peace I’ve known
in the world.

He said
Reveal me to others

I responded, though without choosing or willing a response
But, Lord, you don’t need me to reveal you to others. Why would you ask this of me?

That smile,
impressed indelibly
in my heart of hearts,
yet impossible to describe…
breaking His smile of tender compassion, He responds,
Because I love you

I was in my bed,
having to remember
that I was in my bed.

Time had been still
and stretched as if forever,
both lasting and a moment at once.

An eternity had passed
since I collapsed on my bed.

How long was I not here yet here?

Now, I found myself
precisely where I
had collapsed singing.

The next day
In the corner
of my mind’s eye
I saw a child-like
winged angel
as if embarassed.

I said, internally,
did you have a hand in this?
It nodded, with a giggle.

Again, internally,
perhaps these are the eyes of faith?
The mind’s eye?
How can I be remembering
after I did not see
what I was experiencing?

I was carried out of the darkness by the crown of my head, understanding this to be the seal of baptism on my soul,
which the angel grasped to sweep me with one hand,
paralyzed, demons clinging to me,
away to our Lord, to be set free.